There are some key principles which determine whether we will succeed in a given area Self- trust is a particularly important one. The American psychotherapist Cynthia S. Wall in her book “The Courage to Trust: A Guide to Building Deep and Lasting Relationships” suggests that each one of us needs to first of all trust themselves. Nobody will be as supportive to you as you can be to yourself. Self-trust reinforces self-esteem and this contributes to deepening the connection with others.
One of the most important tests to our self-trust in life is the choice of the professional career. In order to take up work after university you need to draw from your own beliefs, expectations, values and feelings. Self-trust means that you will make a good choice between option A and all the other ones. Rreality will show you whether the prediction was right. If it doesn’t work out the way you expected then you might be angry with yourself that you did not manage to predict what would happen. On the other hand, if you learn from your mistakes, than your empowerment and self-trust will increase. In the before mentioned book Wall gives a compelling description of three principles which are vital to increasing self-trust.
1. React to people who undermine your self-trust
On the one hand, their criticism can be constructive and can help us see important matters from a different perspective. On the other hand, comments such as “this is not realistic”, “why would you want to start this” said with a note of irony can clip our wings and impact our feeling of empowerment and self-trust. Remember that you always have the right to disagree with the opinion of the other person and ask them not to comment matters which are important to you.
2. Keep the promises given to yourself
When you confide your secret to somebody, then you give them your credit of trust. If the other person breaks their promise, your trust will diminish and it will not be easy to restore it. A similar thing will happen with self-trust. Once you decide that from tomorrow onwards you will take up running regularly, but you don’t do it or quit easily, then you can generate many excuses why things have taken such a turn. You will probably feel guilty and powerless. Therefore, it is important to make resolutions which will be realistic.
3. Talk to yourself with kindness
Most people are very gifted critics and they can see a whole in a place where it is not there. We are our own most harsh critics. We like to repeat “this won’t work”, “it didn’t work out again”, “I made an idiot out of myself” and in this way make ourselves feel even worse. Changing your thinking can be life-saving whereas your mood, the perception of your competences and self-trust is concerned. That is why you need to have self-awareness of moments when you generate thoughts which are self-limiting and think about to what extent they are really true.